Close your mouth, it’s Christmas


Bring your mind and body back from the store

Get to know the people in your house

You might like ’em…

The Free Design, Close Your Mouth It’s Christmas, 1969

Since when did Christmas smell of donuts?

Britain has imported the German Christmas Market in recent years, which could be an echo of Prince Albert delighting Queen Victoria with his festive tree in the 19th century. Except of course the British get it a bit wrong. In our version it seems to have become a good idea to pack town squares and cathedral greens with scores of garden sheds. They’re filled with the half-made contents of an out-of-town hobby/craft warehouse and a heap of burgers and donuts. Does this make it a special time of year? Like hell it does.

xmas 2

GPO poster by Hans Unger, 1962.

Real Christmas isn’t Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It’s Black Friday and Cyber Monday. How we all thrill as the UK media now jumps lemming-like into the abyss and tells us how EVERYONE is buying their presents in these 48 hours.

It’s true, they scream. A woman broke her wrist in Asda in the struggle for bargains! Don’t we realise that people EVERYWHERE have filled their homes with flat-pack garden sheds, the contents of that out-of-town hobby/craft warehouse and at this very moment are stuffing their lusty vacuum-cleaner mouths with donuts and burgers – at the same time! Don’t worry about Santa’s little elves in the online shopping warehouses on their night-shifts: they’re smiling through the pain.

A Christmas present does not demonstrate love. It’s just moving currency around different bank accounts.

There are other ways to appreciate the people in your life, but a present saves time – precious time – when we could be eating burgers and donuts in front of the cathedral.

Close Your Mouth, It’s Christmas can be experienced here on Youtube – an inspired title, because while ‘Shut Your Mouth’ is elegantly negotiated to avoid offence, the result is more like the pronouncement of some omnipotent, easy-listening deity.


4 thoughts on “Close your mouth, it’s Christmas

  1. Mary Walker

    A completely true reflection of Christmas in the 21st century plus a number of extra decades. I simplified mine years ago by divorcing a ‘husband’ who’d left anyway, concentrating on my few real relatives and friends and celebrating them. There won’t be any rows in my home on Christmas Day – or probably ever again. No waste either. I do this bit of ‘the season’ in joyous isolation and meet with my special people anytime we like.

  2. Absolutely in complete agreement. Felt this way for many years now, but cannot believe how much this attitude has exploded in more recent years, I am an American and feel that the U.S and it’s so called ‘culture” is 99 per cent responsible for this mind-set and that G. B has swallowed our disposable, instant gratification, value only measured by money , ‘culture’. It is proliferate now and one can only create one’s own Christmas or reality (thank goodness we are still able to do that) I try as much as possible to ignore the mainstream and mass produced anything as is largely devoid of soul /spirit , taste or worth , let alone anything composed of the magical. Hope your Christmas will be full of the magic that the season brings.(you only have to know how and where to look for it)

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