Timepiece

Standard

WhistlesintheWind (I think that’s a place rather than myself) began with looking at things that made an impression on me as a child and the resonances I could pick up today. It also became a little deeper than that: mainly because I was keeping it at a time when my parents were either moving into a nursing home or dealing with failing sight and hearing. That’s a stage when, as a younger generation, you move into the front line: over the border, we’re getting older, heaven only knows what’s on its way to quote a Saint Etienne song.

Over the border

There’s an idea that every seven years we move into a new phase, which seems fairly accurate: 7, 14, 21, 28, 35, 42… Not long ago I was reading an article about stages of happiness as we go through life. It involved firstly the old cliché – and unlikely claim – that in youth we are free from care, worry and responsibility.

Once in our mid-30s we have enough experience for a realistic sense of the possibilities or outcomes of any given situation, and with the human need to predict and pigeon-hole and order, fall prey to any number of prejudices or assumptions that hinder contentment. Over time the predicting wears away and we settle down: we know all that may happen but have trained ourselves to keep it out of mind (which is not the same as burying it). We know life is fragile but there’s little sense in thinking of it.

That’s all my paraphrase and interpretation, but fair enough. In all this there’s the need for somewhere, some thing to keep us anchored: people, places, something ancient and unchanging – perhaps in nature or a faith. And a sense of who you are and what you look for, which is fraught with nostalgic complications, if you want to trace it back or think about it seriously.

Watch 2

My first proper watch: a Christmas present from my dad aged 10, overhauled, new strap, proper wind-up mechanism and worn today after its 20 years or so in the wilderness. Sentiment? Nostalgia? A part of me?

This post from http://albaartstudio.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/nostalgia/ explores the word nostalgia in some depth:

“I have just read Staying Put: Making a home in a restless world by Scott Russell Sanders – a really interesting/great read – in it there is a passage on the meaning of the word nostalgia.

To paraphrase and quote – “Nostalgia was coined in 1688 as a medical term to find an equivalent for the German word meaning homesickness. On our lips, nostalgia usually means a sentimental regard for the trinkets and fashion of an earlier time, for an idealized past, for a vanished youth.  It is a shallow use of the word. The two Greek roots of nostalgia literally mean return pain. The pain comes not from returning home but longing to return.”

Sorting out boxes and cupboards and things from the past is a strange exercise these days. There’s a vague popular notion that we’re only as good as our latest new thing; a bit like an actor saying they’re only as good as their latest film.

But then there are classic films, books and music which are made new as people discover them over the decades – and these things live at that moment of discovery, not just in the moments they were first created. And as time moves everything is fallow and unnoticed for a while. Even Elizabeth II.

Kaleidoscope

Bits and pieces of our history retreat and sleep and others come forward over time, different ways of seeing, feeling, being and living. But certain places, images and objects will connect us directly to any of these moments, or spots of time – whatever you want to call it.

I remember a kaleidoscope I once had. Turned to the light, endless small sparkling grains turned over and over into new arrangements of the same pieces.

There is a lot of dust (and a little mildew) that could gather as we get older, but some things will always remind us of who we are, and also of being alive in the present moment. Ancient things in the landscape give us a sense of continuity and stability. If we need these in our landscape, might we need them in our lives?

The past is not dead, it is living in us, and will be alive in the future which we are now helping to make.

William Morris

Morris and Burne Jones

William Morris, Burne Jones and families

I know with certainty that a [person’s] work is nothing but the long journey to recover, through the detours of art, the two or three simple and great images which first gained access to [his or her] heart.

Albert Camus (apologies for this one: complete affectation to quote Camus, but it’s good. And I found it in the notes of a film I was watching).

These comments in an interview with Natasha Khan (of Bat for Lashes) brings up the ‘N’ word again, almost apologetically…

“…exploring the Sussex Downs and the countryside was a big soothing, nurturing aspect of being at home, and when I felt everything was too much I’d definitely go for walks in downs and check out Alfriston and Rye and Glynde, small villages and I just really love that countryside. It just makes me so happy, and there’s something really romantic and it reminds me of The Snowman – when you’re little and all those rolling hills and little cottages and stuff. I feel like there’s something very wild and romantic about that landscape…”

“… I was reading Patti Smith’s book Just Kids about her and Robert Mapplethorpe which I found fascinating and really inspiring. I did life drawing classes and illustrating for children’s books… I’ve re-read a lot of my childhood books like The BFG, Goodnight Mr. Tom and Ring of Bright Water… I think probably what that’s to do with is going back and rereading things that were a massive part of my childhood, and looking at them from an adult perspective. I think there’s something quite healing in that; immersing myself in my roots and my English childhood and the countryside and the history, coming to terms with my history, working through it and loving it and appreciating aspects of it. And letting go of some aspects helps you come fully into adulthood and put some of those things to rest, so maybe it was a bit of a nostalgia trip, in some ways.”

(From The Line of Best Fit.)

Ring of Bright water

Any excuse…

In sorting through anything – and recently I’ve been clearing my father’s house for new owners – there’s a pile of things that are indeterminate, that speak of no direct need to keep or throw away. And that’s the difficult area… what in that pile is lying fallow?

Take those fateful steps up the metal scaffold to the recycling skip, with cars below circling in and away to the goal of ‘now’, and what fragments of a kaleidoscope might be lost forever?

But there’s a blunt thud and tumble and they are gone. And that is as it should be.

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3 thoughts on “Timepiece

  1. Thoughtful and salutary – do we need the physical reminders or are the memories enough? The trouble is the memories do go, but should we let them go and accept the loss. I can rarely get rid of anything, and when I have done I have sometimes regretted it. Guilty as charged!

  2. I love this! So beautifully written and astutely observed… And so moving.

    All the complexity of time, nostalgia, coming to terms, holding on, letting go – and all the shifting nuances of thought and significance balance perfectly in your words…

    It all chimes so strongly with me – and feels so pertinent to this stage of life and current states of mind; to all the losses, challenges, gains and experiences. There is a kind of treading on both the pivotal and the shifting at every step through life; putting our feet down on moments when change and continuity exist in the same thing – with Time both always and ever more in the round, constantly shuffling and re-shuffling its contents, sometimes dealing new hands, sometimes repeating old hands to be played in new ways… like an old book that never changes, but which we read differently now because we change.

    I love your beautiful kaleidoscope analogy…

  3. That’s very kind – I do cringe at my earnestness in these posts sometimes! I think we’ve said before the thing about blogging is doing it for yourself. What you get from the processes, all the brewing etc, is what matters…

    Just returned from North Wales and Snowdon (lots of inspiration…) and back into getting my dad’s house sold now he’s in a nursing home. It symbolises the closing of a process that worked itself right to the heart of everything, and so the sense of wanting to close that particular chapter is immense – every complication feels like the grinding of some unwieldy and uncooperative Victorian machinery (a mangle, possibly…)

    Hope all is settling and BookishNature world is finding time to enjoy the greenest summer yet!

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